Sex in exchange for payment

the number six

“Sex in exchange for payment” is a form of trade. When we talk about sex in exchange for payment, we might instinctively imagine someone having sex with a person and receiving money for it. But it doesn’t only have to involve money or cash. “Payment” can also mean clothes, drugs, alcohol, food, somewhere to live, a trip somewhere, admission to an event or a club, and so on. A person, in other words, uses a sexual favour as “payment” for another favour, or to get something for themselves.

Nowadays, both buying and selling sex starts online through special forums, but it can also be done through regular social media. On the news, we are told that women selling sex, and men buying. That’s obviously not true. Everyone, regardless of sex/gender, can sell sex. And everyone, regardless of sex/gender, can buy sex. But is all of this legal? No. According to the Nordic Model, it’s a crime to buy sex, but not a crime to sell sex.

There are many reasons why people sell sex; financial, because they they don’t feel well, or in the worst case, because they are forced or coerced into selling sex. Regardless of why someone chooses to sell sex, it’s important to think about yourself and what is best for you, both physically and mentally. You’re always judging yourself harder than others. A lot of people who sell sex feel bad because of it, while others might view it as unproblematic. The ones who feel bad might actually want to quit. But that’s not always as easy as it sounds.

Quitting selling sex

If you want to stop selling sex, you have to be prepared for that it can be an emotionally difficult process. Not selling sex anymore can be a major redjustment. It’s really good if you have someone who can support you along the way. If you don’t have someone you trust to talk to, you’re always welcome to contact one of the support groups. 

It’s common to feel both shame and hate towards yourself, but it is important to be brave enough to ask for help. Because you can get help.

Text by Denise Wessman, Uppsala tjej- och transjour

Translation by Dannie Milve, Förenade tjej-, trans- och ungdomsjourer