Having an eating disorder can mean that you think a lot about food, your body and/or exercise. It can negatively affect both your physical and mental health.

What are eating disorders?

According to 1177.se, the following can be signs of eating disorders:

• You become increasingly fixated on food and weight

• You postpone or skip meals, eat lowly and often by yourself

• You eat large amounts of “unhealthy” food when you are alone

• You have a need for getting rid of what you have eaten through, for example, throwing up or exercising

• You exercise excessively, and get anxious when you are not exercising

• You are critical towards your body

• You have to eat food a certain way, you get anxious if you don’t

You are able, you want to and you are brave - A text by Maja frick, Tjejjouren i lund

Eating disorders are not always visible and in some cases, it can be difficult to know whether one has an eating disorder. Even though our society views eating disorders as par for the course, I know that it’s possible to heal. You can live just like you want to, even if our society tells you otherwise.

What I regret the most is that I denied that I was sick, and my right to get help. It has taken me almost eight years to understand that I also had the right to medical care, to take up space and to get better. I wish that I had started my journey towards a healthy life almost eight years ago. Those passed years are not wasted, but they could have been better and I could have been so much more alive during that time. My best and foremost advice for anyone with an eating disorder (regardless of what stage you’re in) is to start your journey towards being healthy from where you are right now, not where your eating disorder tells you that you should be. Your eating disorder will never tell you: “All right, it’s time, you can start getting healthy now”.

Wherever you are in your eating disorder, It’s time to start your journey back to life. It’s never too early, nor too late either, to start working towards a healthy life. Everyone can do it, everyone has the right to receive help and everyone deserves to get healthy. Don’t wait until you are “ill enough”, I promise you, there is nothing an eating disorder would consider “ill enough”. According to eating disorders, there will always be someone worse off than you. There will always be something that the eating disorder wants you to achieve before you can start getting healthy. Only you can decide if you are going to get healthy or not. You can receive lots of help and support, but the decision is still only yours. I’m sure you have the strength, courage, and determination to get healthy!

When I was ill, I noticed that what mostly inspired and motivated me was to see the pros and cons of getting healthy. I started following lots of people on Instagram that I noticed were actually healthy and didn’t replace one area to control and police with another. I have tried to get healthy numerous times, but have always relapsed to the eating disorder and its false sense of safety. However, the latest and last time I tried, I really did everything I could. I had another attitude towards life and realised my right to help. Unfortunately, it’s difficult for me to tell you what you should do or how you should think to come to that understanding. I wholeheartedly wish that I could, because I know that it would have helped many get healthy a lot quicker. But I promise you that it can be done, it’s possible to realise one’s right to become healthy and that you deserve to feel well. Everyone can get healthy and there is help to get. Seek help as fast as possible, even if you feel like you’re “only a little ill”.

Back to the pros and cons with getting healthy now. There are an incredible amount of different parts to it and it varies from person to person. But myself and many others know that we share these pros:

• You’ll save yourself from physical and psychological damage from malnutrition

• Your brain can be rewired to think healthy thoughts and make sure that the nerves in your body aren’t damaged further

• You give yourself a future without obsessions with food and weight

• You’ll make your future self proud

• You’ll get the chance to experience a sustainable life and not just the short sighted satisfaction of acting on your eating disorder

If you are like me, wanting to put everything in perspective, and suspect that if there are pros then certainly there are cons, I’ll give you some cons (that are not really cons)

• Your eating disorder is going to try to convince you that you aren’t “ill enough” yet

• You are going to have to go through the passing anxiety and discomfort that arises from regularly challenging your eating disorder

We’re all different, and eating disorders vary in how they feel and how intense they are for everyone. Your eating disorder is always going to find someone who is more ill than you, but it is lying to you. It is going to find one reason or another to postpone the start of your journey to being healthy. That one perfect occasion is never going to arise. There is no good or bad time to get healthy, the same is true of getting ill. That’s why you might as well start now, waiting is not going to help you. Because if you wait, you can wait indefinitely. Starting now means taking control of your life and trusting your body.

There is no scale on how ill one is or how that would be measured. If you have eating disordered thoughts that affect your everyday life, then you have an eating disorder and that means you’re ill. It doesn’t matter whether you have had those thoughts and behaviours for one day or a whole life. You are ill and deserve help, period. I wish I could help everyone who lives with an eating disorder, that a snap of my fingers would make everything better. I can try as much as I want but it just doesn’t work like that. It’s up to you to make up your mind, be courageous and actually do it. I have lost so many years by postponing dealing with my eating disorder. Don’t do like I did, it’s not going to get easier the longer you wait, it’s the other way around. You are amazing and deserve a free life with the ones you love. Take care of yourself, be daring. It’s hard, but it can be done. You are not your illness, your thoughts or your behaviours. You are yourself, and that is awesome!

Text by Maja Frick, Tjejjouren i Lund

Translated by Dannie Milve, Förenade tjej-, trans- och ungdomsjourer

Further reading:

Feeling bad

Your body

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self harm

Minority stress