Self-esteem and self-confidence are words about how you think and feel about yourself. Self-esteem and self-confidence are about believing that you can succeed and handle things, but also about how you handle failures, and when things didn’t go according to plan. Both are important and connected, but they have slightly different meanings. Down below is a short description of how we interpret self-esteem and self-confidence.

self-confidence - thoughts about what I am capable of

self-confidence can be described as thoughts about what I think that I am capable of. If you have high self-confidence, you believe that you can manage an activity and get a result which is satisfactory and makes you proud. You might feel motivated and happy about getting to try out the activity. You might also feel positively about trying out new activities.

Conversely, if you have low self-confidence, you might believe that the same activity will go badly, and you might feel disappointed with how it went. You might not feel like trying new things and might feel negatively about trying again.

You might have high self-confidence when doing activities that you are experienced with, and lower self-confidence when doing activities that are new for you. It’s common for one’s self-confidence to vary between situations.

Self-esteem - thoughts about who I am

Self-esteem can be described as thoughts about who I am. How you describe and think about yourself. High self-esteem can be described as accepting and liking yourself just as you are right now. You maintain that your worth doesn’t decrease when something doesn’t go according to plan. You understand that sometimes, you do things wrongly and you can show kindness towards yourself when you’re facing adversity and failure. High self-esteem makes you feel safe in exploring your environment, and gives you a positive outlook on the future.

But if you have low self-esteem, you’re often critical and harsh on yourself. You might have a negative image of yourself and place high expectations on yourself. You might believe that others are better than you and that you aren’t worth as much as others in your life. Commonly, you strive towards perfection, even when it’s not needed or required, and you are very critical towards your own achievements. If your self-esteem is low, your self-confidence will also be lowered in different situations. This can lead to mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

What are the causes?

For us humans, it’s important to feel safe and appreciated, and that your environment allows you to explore and experiment without the fear of doing something wrong. You need spaces where you are heard and respected for who you are, and where you are allowed to make mistakes sometimes without worrying about what others think about you. These are the cornerstones for developing high self-esteem, and they are put into place when you are a child and youth. If these needs aren’t met, you might develop a low self-esteem. What’s important to keep in mind is that you can always improve your self-esteem.

How can I improve my self-esteem?

Many children and adults suffer from low self-esteem, which can limit their everyday lives. This is why improving one’s self-esteem is important.

But how would you go about doing it? Just like any training, it’s important that you practice often. If one encounters adversity in life, it’s common for one’s self-esteem to drop, and you might start thinking negatively about yourself. When that happens, these thoughts are helpful to remember.

• If you’re young, comparing yourself to others in your vicinity is common. Try not to compare yourself with your friends too much. Everyone around you can go through tough times, which might not be visible. Many might be jealous about something you have.

• Socialise with people who make you happy and proud over who you are. Follow social media accounts that make you feel happy and proud over who you are and what you can do.

• Have the courage to say no to things you don’t want to do and things that feel wrong. Unfollow people on social media who make you think negative thoughts about yourself.

• Practice saying yes to things you want to do, even if it feels scary or hard.

• Be kind towards yourself. Look at yourself and your body as your best friend. If you wouldn’t have said it to your friend, you shouldn’t say it to yourself either.

• If you want to be good at something, it’s important that you dare to make mistakes. Imagine a famous football player. They’ve made many mistakes as they learned to play football, but instead of giving up, they learned from their mistakes. They still enjoy playing football, despite that they make mistakes sometimes.

You are more than welcome to contact any support group if you have questions about self-confidence and self-esteem. Take care <3

Text av Marit Müller, Uppsala tjej- och transjour

Translated by Dannie Milve, Förenade tjej-, trans- och ungdomsjourer

Further reading:

Feeling bad

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More about self-confidence at Umo!

More about self-esteem and self-confidence at 1177 Vårdguiden!