Sexual assault

Heart with chain across

Sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape - simply put: different forms of sexual violence - are sexual things done to you against your will. It includes everything from getting cat called, somebody pinching your butt, or somebody having sex with you even though you don’t want to.

The estimated number of unknown cases (crimes that are never reported) of sex crimes is huge - at least 80% of cases aren’t reported. The cause of this could be that it’s a difficult process, or a fear of not being taken seriously

Sexual assault

If someone does sexual things to you against your will, they are sexually assaulting you. Sexual assault includes everything from someone groping or verbally harassing you to having sex with you against your will. Assault can even happen online, for example by forcing someone to send sexual pictures against their will. Other examples of sexual assault include exposing yourself in a sexual way to soeone who doesn’t want you to, or doing sexual things with or to someone who either can’t or doesn’t dare to say no. All these things count as sexual assault regardless of if you know, are in love with, or have a relationship with the person who does sexual things to you against your will. It doesn’t matter if you’ve flirted, made out or had sex berfore. You don’t owe anyone anything.

Regardless of how your body reacts to sexual assaults, they’re still assaults. Some even orgasm even if they didn’t want to have sex. The body can get turned even if you don’t really want to have sex, because it reacts to different kinds of touch and stimulation. The body isn’t affected by your psychological horniness (how horny you are “in your head”), and you can’t really affect it yourself. The reactions are completely natural. When you’re in a crisis, like a sexual assault, the body usually reacts in four different ways. They are

  • “Playing dead” or freezing, meaning that you don’t move.

  • Playing along with what’s happening.

  • Attempting to escape or flee.

  • Fighting back

7 out of 10 who are sexually assaulted react with “frozen fright”. This means that the body stiffens and prevents you from fighting back, perhaps hoping that it will make the sexual assault last a shorter period of time. The problem with the first two reactions is that they can make it harder to prove that the assault actually was an assault, because anyone is innocent until proven guilty according to our legal system.

What can you do if you’ve been sexually assaulted?

It’s common to be worried, sad and stressed out after a sexual assault. It can affect your sleep. You may experience physical pain like headaches or body aches. Your psychological well-being can also be affected, you might experience lower self-confidence, shame or feel grossed out by yourself and your body, or develop problems with eating or having sex. It can become difficult to trust other people, and you might start shying away from situations that remind you of the assault. It’s common for the people around you, and you yourself, to view you as a victim. This can feel bad and prevent you from moving on after the assault

  • Tell someone! A friend, family member or other adult. Or someone else that you feel safe with.

  • Seek professional help. For example from your school’s social workers, youth clinics, health care centres or some other institution. They have an obligation to remain silent about what you tell them. You can also contact brottsofferjouren or a support group listed on this website, or other sites that are specialized in sexual assault. If you need help, they can refer you to the right place.

  • Get a medical examination to make sure you didn’t get any STIs or got pregnant (if you have a uterus). Doctors can also sample DNA and try to find the assaulter’s DNA, which can be used as evidence if you report to the police.

  • Report to the police if it feels alright for you, it can possibly get your assaulter convicted

Text by Therese Larsson, Trans- och Tjejjouren i Malmö

Translated by Dannie Milve, Förenade tjej-, trans- och ungdomsjourer